L's Secret
by OnlyVampiresCanLoveForever
Summary: I put it on Twilight because Deathnote doesn't have a catigory. I got mad that my friend was writing stories and bashing Twilight, so I wrote this to prove that Twilight people can and will fight back! No offence to innocent Deathnote people.


**NO OFFENCE TO DEATHNOTE FANS!!! THIS IS PAYBACK FOR MY FRIEND!!! Plus, if you have a good sense of humor, why not just laugh about it?**

**This is what would happen if L went to the Cullen house.**

L was lost, hopelessly lost. The only thing he knew was that he was somewhere deep in the heart of the Olympic Peninsula, somewhere in the state of Washington.

He began to panic, running though the woods screaming in the pretty pink dress his mother had laid out for him that day, he had always loved tutu's. Soon he had to stop, his throat was getting sore from belting out his high pitched girl scream. He decided to use this time to retie the satin bows his mother had pinned in his hair, the pins where loosening and beginning to prick his head. He was so scared, he laid down in the fettle position and began rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb and crying.

After a while, he heard voices, laughing voices, "Edward! No, Edward, stop it now! Edward!" he also thought he herd the sound of water splashing. He ran twords it. He came upon a group of 6 people who where beautiful and cooler than he could ever be . . Sigh . .

They all stopped and starred when he walked into the clearing they where in, eyes wide and horrified.

There where 3 girls and 3 boys. Of the girls, one of them was brunette, one blond, and one of them had black hair. In the boys, one of them was brunette, one blond, and one had the most gorgeous bronze hair he had ever seen, L wished he had hair as great as that. They all had golden eyes, and they where all pale. Why where they still starring? He looked down. Oh, no!! He didn't shave his legs!!! He should have worn his My Little Pony tights . . .

"What's wrong with you? I mean, why do you dress like that?" the brunette girl asked.

"Ummm, my mom wanted a girl." They couldn't know . . .

"Ohhhh." they all said in synchronization. "Well, why don't you come to our house?" the black haired girl said.

"You have a house?" L was shocked. "Yeah, this is just our baseball field, come on!!!" They led him to a big white house, nicer than anything he had ever lived in . . .

When they got inside, the blond girl turned and said, "Mom and Dad, Carlisle and Esme, aren't home right now, but we can still introduce ourselves. Rosalie." the brunette guy turned, "Emmett." The blond guy turned, "Jasper." The brunette girl turned "Bella." the black haired pixie girl was already looking at him, "Alice." The bronze haired guy said "Edward." Cool names, they all had cool names. L wished he had a cool name, or at least a-

"Hey, introduce yourself." the pixie scolded. "Ummm, L" "L? That's a weird na- I mean unusual! An unusual name!"

"It's a name for hobo's and gang members, I know." L hung his head in shame. "Well, maybe you'll look better if you get some new clothes, there is some upstairs that you can have." l

"Yeah, maybe." L started to go up the stairs with the pixie. There was something he wanted to do first. "Hey, dude." he said to Edward. Edward looked up. "Can I touch your hair?" Edward looked shocked. "Uhhh, sure?" he said. L ran his hands through the caramel goodness. He moaned, his hair was so smooth . . . Edward jerked his head back "Ummm, what did you just do?" He was referring to L's mishap sound. "Uhhh, nothing. It' just when I'm around you, I smell you and my mouth waters - I mean I get really thirsty, and uhhh, your hair is soft . . . . like stuff that you drink." the pixie, Alice, grabbed his wrist and dragged him up the stairs before he could reveal anything else about his sexual identity.

Alice took him to a room and gave him some men's clothes. She shut the door behind her and let him have his privacy. He took off his dress and his pink high heals and took the ribbons out of his hair. He took off his women's underwear and the elastic band across his chest that kept . . . things flat and unnoticeable. Suddenly, Alice walked in, "I thought you'd like this shirt better than-" She stopped short when she saw him. Suddenly, she screamed, "You're a girl!?!" Yes he was, underneath his clothes was a woman's body, and he was tired of hiding it. He was a she, and she was a full woman. L didn't have one single man part. "Yes, I'm a woman. And I'm tired of hiding it. In the books it says L stands for something else, but really, . . . L stands for Lamortatha! A stripper name!" Yes, his secret was out, and Lamortatha was here to stay, in all her feminine glory.

**Well, what do you think? So sorry to any Deathnote fans who might take offence to this. Be a good sport! We Twilight fans get criticized WAY more than you do, trust me.**

**In your face, Sami!!!!!**


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